You may be around women in these places but I don’t recommend approaching them with the intent to make them your girlfriend. Here’s why:

A Club or Bar: A woman’s defenses are up at a bar scene or party. It might be easier for you to get up the courage to talk to her when it’s made out of liquid but it’s not conducive to an authentic connection. Loud music, sexy clothes, and alcohol mean surface connections and games.

A Gym: Some women may feel differently but there is no way I want to be picked up when I’m sweaty and focusing on working out. There is already such an obvious connection to sex — tight spandex, sweating, breathing heavy, endorphins — that it just seems skeevy when a guy approaches. Women at the gym tend to be on guard.

Instead of the club or gym, approach her where she is more relaxed and receptive.